From The Inside Out Counseling

My WordPress Blog

Why Therapy for Caretakers is More Important Than Ever

by

Research has shown that roughly 80% of long-term care in this country is provided by family members. Many of these caregivers have their own families to look after and may also be holding down at least one job.

In addition, family caregivers have been shown to ignore their own health and wellness needs. This often leads to caregiver burnout, which is typically defined as a state of physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. Caregivers who reach this burnout stage often experience stress, fatigue, sadness, grief, isolation guilt, anxiety, and depression.

Some other symptoms of caregiver burnout include:

  • Withdrawing from others
  • Loss of interest in activities and hobbies
  • Feeling irritable and helpless
  • Changes in appetite, weight, or both
  • Changes in sleep
  • Compromised immune system
  • Extreme fatigue
  • Excessive use of alcohol or drugs

 

Causes of Caregiver Burnout

Caregivers become easily lost in the person they are caring for and forget that they themselves have needs and wants. Being so busy, they, often without thought, neglect their own mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health and wellbeing.

They also deal with huge challenges and emotions each day, and often without help from anyone else. They push their feelings down so they may remain strong for their loved one who is usually battling a significant health crisis of their own.

 

Counseling Can Be a Lifesaver for Caregivers

Struggling on your own won’t help you or your loved one. It’s important that you get the help you need and deserve.

Talking with someone who will listen compassionately and give you advice and coping tools can take a huge burden off your shoulders.

But perhaps most importantly, a therapist will validate what you are experiencing. This is helpful because you yourself are denying your own existence and your own pain. This is how you have been managing.

A therapist is in your corner. He or she is your champion and will say the things you won’t allow yourself to say. They will point out your own humanity and the need for you to take care of yourself. Hearing this from a neutral third party can often be very helpful.

If you would like to speak with someone, please reach out to me. I want to help you not feel so powerless or isolated.

 

SOURCES:

Filed Under: General

Teaching Kids Mindfulness: The Benefits and Easiest Ways to Do It!

by

“Pay attention!”

It’s a phrase that is uttered dozens of times a week (if not more) in households where children between the ages of two and 18 reside. How is it that when they WANT to, oh say when they are playing video games or watching cartoons, kids can have a tremendous attention span. But at any other time, getting them to be present is harder than getting them to close the refrigerator door!

While getting kids to pay attention can seem frustrating, there is an answer to the madness: mindfulness.

Mindful Kids are Happier Kids

Several studies have shown that kids who participate in mindfulness programs are happier. And the sooner you get kids started with mindfulness, the easier it becomes for them to develop a capacity to become calm and centered when life throws them stressful situations.

What does this look like in real life?

Well, picture how a normal 7-year old responds to a situation that is scary, overwhelming, and generally unpleasant. Say they are getting ready to take a hard test or going to the dentist. Most will become so fearful and anxious that they have a hard time being calmed by a parent or other guardian.

The 7-year old who practices mindfulness meditation knows to stop, close their eyes, and breathe deeply to get themselves calm and focused.

The two outcomes are vastly different. That’s because meditation and deep breathing exercises actually change the physiology of the brain, according to scientists. Instead of kids reacting emotionally to a charged situation (being controlled by their emotions), children can control their impulses and reactions to that situation.

OK, but how do you get kids to practice mindfulness when it’s difficult to get them to do pretty much anything, let alone meditate!  Here are some ways you can help your kids become more mindful:

1. Help them discover their inner experience.

Spend time helping kids understand what is happening to their bodies during stressful and calm situations. Ask them to explore their emotions. The more insight they have into their inner experience, the better able they will be to control their responses to external experiences.

2. Breathe with Them

Practice deep breathing with your child. You can do it while driving or before putting them to bed at night. Share with them how to relax, slowly breathe in deeply and exhale. Invite them to feel any tension melt away.

3. Be a Good Example

Your child will not even want to try and be mindful and in control when they see you out of control. Are you one to yell at other drivers? Do you get far too angry when your dog tracks mud in the house? Does a telemarketer at dinner send you through the roof? If so, it’s time to try deep breathing and meditation yourself. Be an example. If your child sees mommy or daddy handling stress in healthier ways, they will be far more likely to give it a go.

While it will take some effort to get your kid to commit to practicing mindfulness, the results that it will bring to their life are completely worth it.

 

SOURCES:

Filed Under: Children

Creative Expressive Therapies for Kids and Teens

by

Life hasn’t been the same for any of us for many months now. As we continue to try and adapt our lives to safely deal with this novel coronavirus, it has taken its toll on many, both financially and emotionally.

Kids have been hit particularly hard during this time. At first, many might have thought the idea of no school was “awesome!” But as the weeks rolled on, and they found themselves away from their friends and their routine disrupted, many kids began to feel depressed and anxious about the future.

Summer vacation is supposed to be a time of fun and freedom, but with many states still in lock-down mode and masks still being mandated, this summer isn’t filled with the same kind of fun and freedom as usual.

How can you help your kids deal with the stress and anxiety at this time?

You can get them involved in creative expressive therapies. These therapies, such as art therapy, music therapy, dance therapy, and drama therapy, to name a few, have been successfully applied in psychotherapy and counseling for more than 70 years.

Creative expressive therapies are valuable in helping people of all ages navigate stress and anxiety but work particularly well with children and teens. One of the biggest benefits of expressive therapies is that they calm the nervous system. When we are focused on creating something, our focus shifts away from the very thing we are worried about and ruminating on. Once this shift has occurred, we also have more access to the rest of our brain and our thoughts and emotions stored there.

But the real reason expressive therapy is so good for kids and teens is that it allows them to express themselves in a nonverbal way. Ask a young child how they are feeling about things and they are liable to give you a shrug. But give them some markers and paper and all of their thoughts and feelings will come flowing out onto that paper.

There are a variety of creative expressive therapies that your child may find very helpful during this time. If you’d like to explore any of these options, please get in touch with me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help your child or teen cope with the anxiety they are going through because of the coronavirus.

 

SOURCES:

Filed Under: Adolescents/Teens, Children

Ready, Set, Play Therapy!

by

Childhood can be a time of great wonder and joy. But for some, childhood is fraught with ugly family or school situations that overwhelm and depress developing psyches.

Adults who are having trouble in their lives can often get help by speaking with a trained therapist. But young children can find it difficult and even scary talking to anyone about their intense emotions and deepest fears.

This is where play therapy comes in.

What is Play Therapy?

Play therapy is a therapeutic approach that helps juveniles delve into and openly express repressed thoughts or emotions through play. These play sessions typically take place in an environment the child recognizes as safe and comfortable. There are very few rules imposed on the child during these sessions, as this encourages them to freely express themselves without the fear of repercussions.

When is Play Therapy Used?

Children that have witnessed stressful or tragic events in their lives are candidates for play therapy. These events could be something like domestic violence in the home, abuse, experiencing a sudden loss of a loved one, experiencing an illness or serious injury themselves, or any other type of family crisis.

Play therapy has also been shown to help those dealing with social problems such as anxiety or depression, as well as academic struggles such as learning disabilities or attention deficit disorder. And finally, those on the autism spectrum could also profit from play therapy.

How Does Play Therapy Work, Exactly?

A parent will first take part in an interview with the therapist, who will collect some basic info about the child. The therapist will then most likely also conduct an initial interview with the child itself. This will help the therapist assess and determine the right treatment plan moving forward.

During sessions in the playroom, the therapist will ask the child to play with specific toys that will best help him or her to express themselves. Other learning tools such as drawing, painting, music, and/or dance may also be used to facilitate positive behavioral change.

Generally speaking, play therapy sessions occur weekly for an average of 20 weeks, and each of these weekly sessions typically last 30-45 minutes.

Choosing a Play Therapist for Your Child

Look for therapists that are specially trained in early childhood development, attachment, and the use of play as a form of communication. They should also have a background in cognitive-behavioral, Adlerian, or Gestalt therapy.

In addition to looking for the right training and cognitive tools, you’ll want to find a therapist that both you and your child feel comfortable with. Take some time to get on the phone with each potential therapist and ask some questions. You may also want to meet with them in person to get a sense of their energy and personality.

 

If you have a child you think may benefit from play therapy and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

Filed Under: Teens/Children

Why People Misunderstand Anxiety

by

Did you ever play the game called “telephone” growing up? One kid whispered a secret message into the ear of the kid next to him. That kid then whispered the “same” message into the ear of the kid next to her. On and on each kid would whisper the message around the circle until you came to the last kid, who would then announce the secret message aloud.

Often the final message sounded nothing like the original message. That’s because every person has their own way of hearing and sharing information. Sometimes it’s accurate – sometimes it’s not.

In this way, you could say that language is a necessary evil. Without it we would not be able to share ideas and information with each other. But when each person has their own language filters, information can become skewed.

Personal information and language filters can make discussing and understanding anxiety disorders difficult. While we all experience anxious moments from time to time, 18% of adults in the United States are actually affected by a form of anxiety disorder.

But how many times have you heard a friend or a coworker say something like, “I was totally having a panic attack yesterday when you didn’t show up!” They weren’t actually having a panic attack, they were merely concerned you were late.

When everyone assumes they have an issue with anxiety, they believe they have first-hand experience of the disorder and therefor know what it is. But using certain language that may or may not be accurate to convey a common feeling (ie – being nervous before a job interview) is not the same thing as truly knowing something.

Panic Disorder VS Social Anxiety

There are two main types of anxiety disorder and for this discussion, it’s important to make the distinction between each.

Panic Disorder

People who have been diagnosed with and suffer from panic disorder believe very strongly that the “panic attacks” they experience mean something is physically very wrong with them. For instance, many sufferers believe they are having a heart attack. Some may believe the dizziness and shortness of breath is a result of some serious and undiagnosed illness such as a brain tumor.

Social Anxiety Disorder (Social Phobia)

People with social anxiety disorder experience anxiety when faced with social situations. They do not believe their anxiety is related to an illness or disease, yet have little control over their fear of social interactions. Their anxiety becomes debilitating when the person feels they may be singled out, embarrassed or ridiculed.

People who suffer from social anxiety disorder will do anything to alleviate their fear. This means decreasing the amount of social interactions they have on a daily basis as much as possible. This disorder negatively impacts the person’s ability to emotionally connect with others, and holds them back in their career and academic life.

Because of language discrepancies, those who don’t have an anxiety disorder sometimes believe they do, while those that do may assume they don’t.

The main point to get across here is this:

It is normal to feel anxious, fearful and worried from time to time. But feeling anxiety on a daily basis, to the point where you are concerned for your physical health or are compromising your career and personal relationships is not normal.

Anxiety Disorders Are Treatable

No one should have to live with a debilitating anxiety disorder. The good news is, anxiety disorders are treatable. A therapist can help to uncover the root cause of the fear and provide tools and strategies to cope.

If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

Filed Under: Anxiety

How Meditation Can Help Your Child’s ADHD

by

Attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder (ADHD) is one of the most common developmental disorders experienced in children. Unfortunately, there currently are limited options when it comes to safe and effective drug treatment. And even with suitable pharmacological interventions, many parents don’t like the idea of putting their young child on medications that may come with nasty side effects.

There are, thankfully, other more natural treatment options, and meditation is one of the best.

Okay, I know you are probably thinking, “How on Earth am I supposed to get my hyperactive and impulsive kid to sit still long enough to meditate? If I they were capable of sitting still, I wouldn’t be searching the internet for help with ADHD!” Fair enough. But allow me to explain.

Your Child’s Brain on ADHD

All people have thoughts and impulses that may not be that rational. You feel like ramming your car into the car that just took your parking spot, for instance. Luckily, most of us have a functioning pre-frontal cortex that keeps us in check and stops us from doing dangerous or unlawful impulsive behavior.

Your child’s pre-frontal cortex is significantly impaired, and so he or she cannot put the brakes on these impulses. An impulse makes itself known and before your child even knows what’s going on, they are acting on it. It happens fast!

Meditation Empowers Children with ADHD

What children with ADHD need more than a medication that will ‘calm them down’ is to become aware of their own thoughts. By recognizing that he is not his thoughts but an individual simply having thoughts, he becomes empowered to self-regulate and make better choices.

Studies are now showing that mindful meditation can help children with ADHD:

  • Reduce their feelings of stress and anxiety
  • Reduce impulsive behavior
  • Improve concentration
  • Reduce hyperactivity
  • Improve self-esteem

Helping Your Child Get Started

The best way to get your child interested in the practice of meditation is to practice it yourself. Do some research and perhaps take a few classes yourself so you fully understand what is involved.

You’ll also want to create a space in your home that is just for meditation. Choose a location where there will be no interruptions and encourage a sense of calm.

Be sure to start your child out nice and slow. The Chopra Center suggests one minute of meditation for every year of your child’s age. All kids are different so you may need to adjust for your kid. Your child may be 10, for example, but only be able to start off doing 5 minutes. That’s fine, don’t push it – use the age suggestion as a starting point.

Lose any expectations you may have at the beginning. Most adults with fully-functioning pre-frontal cortexes have a very hard time with meditation at first, so chances are your child will as well. Do not become frustrated and yell at your child to “stop fidgeting.” This will only discourage both of you.

And finally, if they need encouragement to get started, feel free to use positive rewards. Allow them to choose what movie the family will watch or which board game you will play on the weekend.

Will getting your ADHD child to meditate be easy? You’d have an easier time putting a corset on a pig. That being said, it’s important to keep at it because eventually you will see some wonderful changes in your child, and that is priceless.

Filed Under: ADD / ADHD, Teens/Children

How to Talk to an Angry Teenager

by

It’s well known that the teen years are the most trying time for parents. It may seem like their rebellion is personal, and that they’re determined to make your home life miserable; but in reality, this is a natural process. Your teenager is maturing both physically and emotionally, and their brain is still developing. When their frontal cortex develops in a few years, you will see a different person. Until that time however, talking to them can feel nearly impossible. Here are some tips for talking to your angry teen.

Change Your Parenting Style

If you have an authoritarian parenting style, you’ll need to switch styles. An authoritarian method of parenting will cause you to butt heads with your teen, resulting in increased anger and lack of resolution. Switch your style to an authoritative style to get better reactions. An authoritative parent explains their reasoning, gives consequences while taking their child’s feelings and other circumstances into consideration, and overall puts a great deal of effort into the relationship they’re developing with their child.

Frame the Conversation

When it’s time to have a conversation with your teen, first frame the conversation so they know that you’re not angry. If they think you’re angry, they’re more likely to get defensive or shut down. Because they’re unable to fully control their emotions or foresee the consequences of their behavior, they’re highly reactive and will immediately become irrationally angry. To avoid this, let them know that you are irritated, disappointed, or upset, but that you’re not angry with them.

Listen

Overall, it’s important to keep lines of communication open with your teen. You can turn anger into dialogue by simply making an effort to listen to and understand your teen, and ensure that you heard them and understand their feelings. Trying to give advice or enforce rules can break communication down when you need it to stay open.

Your teen is trying to figure out their identity as they go through many hormonal, growth and development changes that are out of their control. Understand that their anger is about asserting themselves or trying to separate themselves as an individual. This is a difficult time, and your teen needs empathy. Stay your child’s safe and secure base, so when they’ve calmed down or are growing out of this phase, they know where to come back.

If you’re a parent having a difficult time with a teenager, a licensed therapist can offer support and guidance for both of you. Call my office today so we can set up a time to talk.

Filed Under: Addiction, Anger, Parenting, Teens/Children

5 Benefits of a Weekly Game Night for Your Mental Health

by

Our daily lives can get so busy. Obligations to work and family, as well as taking time to care for ourselves, can often make us forget to have a little fun. If the hustle and bustle of modern life has caused you to neglect your playful side, a weekly game night may be just what you need.

A game night will not only bring you laughter and enjoyment, but it will help you spend quality time with your friends and loved ones. But with so many commitments and so little time, you might be wondering if it’s worthwhile to take time out of your busy schedule to play? If so, read on for five ways a weekly game night will benefit you and your mental health.

1. Improves Relationships

Playing games with people you care about will not only improve relationships because you’re spending quality time, but it will actually strengthen those relationships through biochemistry. As you spend time close to loved ones, your body releases oxytocin, a hormone that creates feelings of trust and intimacy, strengthening your relationships.

2. Relieves Stress

Playing games induces laughter, and as the saying goes, “laughter is the best medicine.” Laughter is a very simple way to help your body produce endorphins, a neurotransmitter that will reduce your perception of pain and lead to feelings of euphoria, modulating stress and anxiety.

3. Relieves Anxiety and Depression

Spending time with friends or loved ones can make you feel significant and more important; this causes your serotonin to flow more. Serotonin will boost your mood, helping to regulate any anxiety or depression.

4. Improves Sleep

As you enjoy yourself with friends around the table, laughing and interacting with them, you will naturally reduce the levels of cortisol in your body, reducing stress and helping you sleep more soundly. You’ll also exert energy as you play, which will tire you out at the end of the day and help you fall asleep faster.

5. Makes You Happy

Having fun releases your natural “happy chemicals”, or hormones, that impact your mood. When you’re laughing and having fun, your body releases dopamine, serotonin, endorphins and oxytocin. These hormones will naturally make you feel happier, both in the moment and in the long-term.

 

As you plan out your week with teacher conferences, work meetings, and lunch dates, make sure you schedule in a little time for fun. You’ll be glad you did.

Are you looking for guidance and encouragement to make your life more fulfilling and meaningful? A licensed mental health counselor can help you make changes and work towards achieving your goals. Call my office today, and let’s schedule a time to talk.

Filed Under: General

Don’t Get Mad, Get Involved: Helping Your Child with Class Behavioral Issues

by

No parent likes hearing that their child is acting out in class. At first, most of us want to blame ourselves and figure out what we’ve done wrong. When we come up empty, we tend to put the blame on our child, and sometimes we even get angry.

The truth is, parents do the best they can and so do their children. There are a myriad of reasons why children act out at school.

Big Changes

A divorce, move to a new city, or death in the family are big life events that are hard on everyone. This is particularly true for young children who do not know how to express their feelings and have not yet developed coping mechanisms.

Sleep Issues

Has something happened to interrupt your child’s sleep patterns? Are they not getting their naps? Are they waking up frequently during the night from noisy neighbors or growing pains? Even adults act out when we don’t get proper sleep.

Self-Esteem Issues

Children develop self-esteem issues for different reasons, but one of the ramifications is changes in mood that can lead to disruptive behavior.

These are some of the reasons why your child may be acting out in school. But now the questions becomes, what can you do about it as their parent?

Talk to Your Child

First, see if you can pinpoint the cause. If it’s not something already listed, do some digging. Take your child to the doctor. Is their hearing and sight okay? Do they have any GI trouble? Are they being picked on? Are they getting enough exercise? Talk openly with your child and ask them what is going on.

Set Boundaries

If your child has never had any problems acting out in the past, they may not be clear on what is and is NOT acceptable behavior. Make it clear what you expect from that at home as well as school.

Seek Counseling

You may be able to identify and solve the issue yourself. For example, if your child was frustrated from their poor eyesight, a trip to the eye doctor may quickly solve your problems. However, if the behavioral issue stems from a big life change or poor self-esteem, you may need the assistance of a trained behavioral therapist.

If you have a child who is acting out in school and are interested in exploring treatment options, please be in touch. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

 

Sources:

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/childhood-behavioral/2018/07/8-reasons-why-your-child-might-be-having-prolonged-behavior-issues-that-arent-concerning/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/parenting-tips/2012/07/7-hints-for-setting-boundaries-with-your-kids/

https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/children-medication.aspx

Filed Under: Anger, Teens/Children