From The Inside Out Counseling

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3 Ways Teens Can Benefit from Therapy

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Not many of us remember our teenage years as walks in the park. That’s because this time in our life is punctuated by uncertainties, social pressure, and a surge of hormones. Because of this perfect storm, many teens act out, which can cause a lot of chaos and disruption in the home and family.

Here are 3 reasons why teens can benefit from therapy:

Self-Worth Issues

Most teens have a certain level of self-worth issues growing through this awkward phase. But there are those teens that really suffer from low self-esteem. Therapy can help adolescence build their self-esteem.

Stress

Dealing with school, friendships, work, choosing a college… are all major stressors in a young person’s life. And many teens find it hard to speak with their parents. Therapy offers teens a way to communicate and let go of some steam and pressure that is building up.

Grief and Loss

There should be a rule that no young person should suffer the loss of a close friend or family member. Sadly, many teens do experience loss and the grief that accompanies it. This can be incredibly difficult for the teen and their parents to navigate. A therapist has been trained to know exactly how to guide a young person through the stages of grief.

Anxiety Disorders

It’s perfectly normal for teens to feel worried and anxious at times. But some teens experience such severe anxiety, it negatively impacts their life, schoolwork and relationships. Therapy can help teens learn to manage their symptoms.

Substance Abuse Issues

Unfortunately, many teens learn to cope with the intensity of life by using drugs and alcohol. A therapist can assess a teen’s substance use and determine the best course of action.

These are just some of the benefits teens can gain from working with a therapist. If you or a loved one would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me.

SOURCES:

Filed Under: Addiction, Adolescents/Teens, Anxiety, Grief

Mental Health Therapy for Frontline Workers

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None of us were prepared for the global pandemic we find ourselves in. Not parents, teachers, and certainly not the healthcare workers around the country. Doctors and nurses suddenly found themselves working double shifts to care for sick people. As the rest of the world went into lockdown and people stayed home, safe and sound, these frontline workers showed up day after day, putting their health and life on the line.

Many, in an effort to keep their families safe, found other living arrangements. The idea of possibly exposing their family to something they may have been exposed to at work was too much of a risk, and so many mothers and fathers also had to deal with the stress and sadness of being away from their family during the height of the pandemic.

While many frontline workers appear stoic, all of this stress and fear took its toll, even on the bravest among us. As a result, many frontline workers have found themselves burnt out and experiencing symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Symptoms of Depression and Anxiety

It’s common for everyone to feel stressed or sad from time to time. But when certain symptoms linger, you are typically dealing with depression or anxiety. If you’ve never dealt with either before, you may not know the symptoms.

Symptoms of depression include:

  • A persistent feeling of sadness
  • A lack of energy
  • Feelings of hopelessness
  • Sleep disruption (either sleeping too much or too little)
  • Appetite disruption (eating too much or too little)
  • Difficulty focusing
  • A loss of enjoyment of previous hobbies or activities
  • Thoughts of death or suicide

Symptoms of anxiety can include:

  • Excessive worry
  • Agitation
  • Restlessness
  • Fatigue
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Tense muscles
  • Panic attacks
  • Trouble falling or staying asleep
  • Irrational fears

Is it Time to Seek Therapy?

For many healthcare workers, all of their time and focus is on how they can help others. The idea of self-care and asking others for help is not something on their radar.

If you are a healthcare worker that is experiencing symptoms of anxiety or depression as a result of COVID, it’s really important that you let someone else help you right now. A therapist can offer strategies that will help you cope with your symptoms and deal with the underlying emotions.

If you or someone you know would benefit from mental health therapy, please get in touch with me. I offer both in-person appointments as well as online support.

 

SOURCES:

Filed Under: General

How to Face Food and Fitness Challenges During COVID-19

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If anyone had told us a year ago that we would be facing a global pandemic – one that would cause the entire world to go on lockdown – no one would have believed it. But here we are.

While some states have begun to reopen, there are still many areas where children are not going to school and adults are still working remotely. Without question, this disruption in our day-to-day lives has caused many people to make poor food and fitness choices.

 

How to Make Better Food Choices

Eating healthy can be challenging on its own, but couple that will seclusion at home and the added stress we’ve all been feeling for months – stress that BEGS us to eat comfort foods – and you can see how many of our food choices have taken a nosedive.

Here are some ways you can begin to make better food choices during the pandemic:

Plan Your Groceries Carefully

You may have given yourself and your family some leeway these past months when buying groceries. Did you allow more processed garbage into your home because, after all, we’re dealing with a pandemic, and Doritos and cookies help you cope?

If so, it’s time to buckle down and start shopping better. If you don’t allow junk food into the house, you won’t be as tempted to eat it. Do your best to buy fewer processed foods and more wholesome, organic foods.

Try a Healthy Meal Delivery Service

Parents have been hit particularly hard during the pandemic. Many have had to work from home while at the same time teach their children. Not so easy. This has, no doubt, caused many people to order in pizza and other potentially not-so-healthy foods. Who has time to cook?!

If you do need some help preparing your meals, it is a much better idea to sign up for a HEALTHY meal delivery service. There are plenty of options out there to choose from, a simple Google search will turn up numerous companies who cater to those who don’t have time to cook but want to eat healthily!

Deal with Your Emotions

None of us had time to prepare for this pandemic. One day life was normal and the next, chaos and fear. All of this fear and stress caused us to make unhealthy choices.

While things are still a bit rough, now is the time to take stock in our feelings and process them. Ignoring emotions will only cause them to fester and keep that sugar-craving junkie monkey on our back.

 

How to Make Better Fitness Choices

Obviously, self-isolation means far fewer opportunities to be physically active. Gyms have been closed. Heck, even some beaches and public parks have been closed.

So what’s a person to do? I mean, science has shown exercise is important to keep our immune systems running optimally.

Well, there are actually numerous fitness opportunities for you right at home.

Stand While Working

Sitting is bad for us anyway, so why not stand while you work? There are standing desks you can purchase to help you with this, or you can create your own standing workstation (wire shelving units work well for this).

Got Stairs?

If you live in an apartment complex, avoid using the elevator and take the stairs instead. Live in a house with stairs? Walk up and down them quickly for 1 minute, rest, and repeat. Do this a few times a day.

Do Body Weight Exercises

Some of the absolute BEST exercises you can do require no equipment. Planks, push-ups, sit-ups, and squats require only your body weight and a willingness to commit to the routine.

The pandemic hasn’t been much fun for anyone. And it’s no doubt taken a toll on many of us regarding our health. Now is the time to get back into shape and make better food and fitness choices.

 

SOURCES:

Filed Under: Nutrition, Sports / Exercise

Healthy Food & Emotional Regulation

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Are you an emotional eater? When you’re feeling stressed, do you find yourself ordering in pizza? When something sad happens, do you drown your grief in sugar? If so, you’re not alone. A majority of people deal with the challenges of life by turning to their favorite comfort foods.

The trouble is, these foods are only a temporary fix. They fill a void, and in the case of sugar, give our mood a boost. But then we come crashing down again and may even experience shame and guilt for having binged on food we know is not good for us. This can lead to a vicious cycle of more emotions, more eating, more emotions, more eating. This cycle can ultimately lead to weight gain and even the development of certain chronic diseases like heart disease and type 2 diabetes.

Your Brain on Comfort Foods

We are what we eat is a very true sentiment, especially when it comes to our brain. When life throws us challenges, we need our brain to work optimally so we can figure out the best way to deal with our circumstances or to process emotions. The trouble with reaching for comfort foods is, they are actually harmful to your brain.

Think of your brain like the engine in a car. You wouldn’t put frozen lattes in your gas tank because you know your car needs the right kind of fuel to run well. Your brain also needs the right kind of fuel. Your brain requires high-quality foods that are loaded with vitamins, minerals and antioxidants. These nutrients nourish your brain and protect it from oxidative stress.

Did you know that studies have shown a direct link between a diet high in refined sugars and impaired brain function? And even a worsening of symptoms such as depression?

The bottom line is, while your instinct in the moment may be to reach for those processed comfort foods, do your best to make better food choices. It will be hard at first, but good habits can be formed over time. Your brain will thank you.

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Filed Under: Depression, Nutrition

How Counseling Can Help You Reach Your Goals in the New Year

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If you struggle to set goals, let alone reach them, you are definitely not alone. In fact, it is thought that roughly 92% of the population has found it hard to stick to goals. This constant cycle of trying to set beneficial life or health goals, but never quite reaching them, can ultimately lead to depression.

That’s because reaching goals is empowering and helps us feel we are in charge of our life. When we don’t reach goals, we feel powerless and even hopeless that our lives can change for the better!

How Counseling Can Help

Just as you must follow a recipe to the proverbial “T” to end up with something edible, there is a formula that must be followed to the “T” to set reachable goals. This formula is often used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help individuals set and reach goals that will help them change behaviors and better their lives.

Goal setting has actually been shown to be a useful tool for those suffering from depression according to a study published in the journal PLOS ONE. The study found that individuals suffering from depression had more trouble setting goals and were far less likely to believe they could reach them.

The study found that those who were depressed had more difficulties setting goals and they were also less likely to believe they would achieve those goals. The participants also tended to set avoidance goals rather than approach goals.

An avoidance goal is one you set to avoid a negative outcome. “I want to lose weight so I don’t develop type 2 diabetes.” An approach goal, on the other hand, is one that you set to ensure a positive outcome. “I want to lose weight to have more energy!”

The study shows that counseling can help people with depression set and achieve realistic and achievable goals as well as help them stay on track mentally in pursuit of that goal.

The goal-setting formula used by most CBT therapists is as follows:

  • Identify your goal.
  • Choose a starting point.
  • Identify the steps required to achieve the goal.
  • Take that first step and get started.

A therapist can help you with each one of these steps. From ensuring you select realistic goals that are approach goals, to helping you identify where you are in relation to your goal, breaking down the goal into smaller, actionable steps, and helping you take that very first one, a counselor or coach will be in your corner, helping you every step of the way.

Make 2021 the year you reach those goals that will help you live your best life. If you’d like some help getting there, please get in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

 

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Filed Under: General

What is Positive Parenting?

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“Because I said so!!”

How many times did your parents say this phrase to you? How often were you spanked as a child? How much yelling was there in your house growing up?

It’s safe to say that parenting styles have changed over the years. While spanking may have been deemed okay years ago, most parents agree now that hitting a child is not okay, for any reason. Shame and yelling are also, thankfully, out of fashion.

Many of today’s parents are trying to use positive parenting techniques instead.

What is Positive Parenting?

Positive parenting refers to a parenting style that relies on warmth, nurturing, and mindfulness. This type of parenting reinforces good behavior and avoids using harsh forms of discipline.

Positive parenting has been shown to facilitate numerous favorable outcomes. It has been linked to better grades in school, better behavior, more positive self-concepts, less substance abuse, and better overall mental health.

Strategies for Positive Parenting

Positive Parenting has three main components:

1. Regulate Your Own Emotions

How often have you had a bad day at work and yelled at your kids when you got home? It is very common for parents, either consciously or unconsciously, to take their bad emotions out on their children.

To parent positively means you have got to get a hold of your own emotions so you only interact with your child in a kind, loving, and honest manner.

2. Focus on Strengthening the Parent-Child Connection

It can be easier said than done, but each interaction with your child must strengthen the connection between you both. When a parent-child connection is strong, the child will feel safe and be able to trust.

3. Love Your Child Unconditionally

Many punishment techniques throughout the years rely on a parent “withdrawing” their love. This conditional love can cause great emotional and psychological harm to your child. Instead, focus on being a coach and mentor to your child, offering them loving guidance and reassurance to help them manage their emotions and behaviors.

It can also be very helpful to get some help from a family therapist who can help guide you in becoming the loving and compassionate parent you want to be.

If you would like to explore counseling options, please be in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

 

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Filed Under: Parenting

6 Great Ways to Deepen Your Relationship Bond

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Love is a beautiful thing, and there’s nothing more amazing than feeling the bond you share with your partner get stronger. If you’re in a happy relationship, you can keep it that way by introducing a few new things into your relationship. Here are 6 evidence-based approaches that will help you enjoy a more fulfilling connection.

  1. Listen- Listening is a great way to boost intimacy. Make a sincere effort to always listen to your partner, especially when they’re talking about something that relates to your relationship. Listen to understand what they’re saying not just to give a response. This helps your partner feel like you value the relationship and care about them deeply.
  2. Appreciate your partner- Think about something your partner does that makes your life easier, especially something you view as their responsibility, such as paying their share of the bills. Thank them sincerely for it. This might feel weird since it’s something they should do anyway, but it makes them feel good and your relationship more satisfying. So take 5 minutes to say something like ‘I appreciate you for working hard so you can afford to help pay the bills’ and watch out for the huge smile on their face afterwards.
  3. Schedule quiet time– In today’s world it’s incredibly hard to focus on one thing. At least once a week, turn off all electronic devices and participate in an activity you both enjoy. You could watch your favorite movie, massage each other, or play a board game. This gives you time to enjoy each other and connect on a deeper level.
  4. Do random acts of kindness often- Do things that will make your partner feel important and loved often. It can be as simple as making their favorite breakfast, creating a playlist or sending them a love note via email. Research shows that these little ways of showing affection accumulate and have a bigger impact on couple happiness than infrequent grand gestures.
  5. Show empathy- Always take your partner’s feelings seriously, even when you feel like they’re irrational. When you find it difficult to empathize, take a deep breath and remind yourself that their feelings are important.
  6. Communicate healthily- Communication is key. Good communication skills help your relationship thrive. This means, asking your partner what they need, and telling them what you need as well. Check in with them regularly to ensure they’re feeling good, and learning to argue in a way that doesn’t hurt your relationship further.

If you would like to improve your relationship and strengthen the bond between you and your partner, even more, you can book a relationship counseling session with me.

Filed Under: Couples/Marriage

5 Warning Signs It’s Time to Try Couples Counseling

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When you first fell in love, you could never imagine that someday the sound of your partner chewing could make you want to scream. It’s inevitable that once we are out of our honeymoon phase and reality sets in, we realize that all relationships take work and compromise. But while some couples may hit bumps in the road every so often, other couples find themselves in bigger trouble, with neither party knowing exactly how to fix things.

If you are in a relationship that is no longer feeling healthy, here are 5 warning signs that it may be time to try couples counseling:

1. There is No Longer Healthy Communication

Once you have a communication breakdown, you are unable to rationally share thoughts, feelings, and concerns with each other. Beyond this, unhealthy communication tends to leave one or both partners feeling depressed, angry and hopeless.

2. Trust Has Been Broken

When there has been infidelity, it is very difficult for the couple to rebuild trust and repair the damage. While there is no magic pill to recover from an affair, a therapist can offer tools and strategies to rebuild trust.

3. You’re More Like Roommates

If you and your partner act more like roommates than romantic partners, this indicates a lack of intimacy and a potential need for professional help.

4. One or Both of You Has Begun Acting Out

You try to mask your real feelings for as long as possible, but then you start to act out the hurt and resentment you may be feeling. For instance, if your partner has been unfaithful and you have agreed to stay in the relationship and work things out. But over time you find yourself lashing out, acting rude and trying to make them believe you are having an affair so they will feel the same kind of hurt. This acting out is unhealthy for both people and is a BIG indicator you need to seek some help.

5. When the Only “Solution” Seems to be Separation/Divorce

A break from negative energy can be very helpful to the relationship. But when a temporary break leads to more and more time away from home and someone renting their own apartment, this indicates a need for counseling. Spending time away from home usually doesn’t lead to any real resolution, just more distance.

 

If you and your partner are interested in exploring treatment options, please be in touch with me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

Filed Under: Couples/Marriage, General

4 Ways to Improve Communication in Your Relationship

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If you’re reading this blog post, chances are you and your significant other have hit a snag in the relationship. Maybe you’re spending less time with each other and you’ve grown apart. Or maybe you do little else than argue these days.

All relationships go through their ups and downs. No matter the good intentions of the individuals or how in love you were when the relationship began, it is completely natural for a relationship to take a hit every now and then.

In some ways, these trials can be a good thing. Much like you need to break down muscle to build it up stronger than it was before, many relationships can be strengthened by challenges, provided your communication is healthy.

Here are some ways to improve communication in your relationship:

1. Recognize the Change

It’s important to be open and honest with yourself and each other. Don’t deny that something has changed in your relationship, admit it openly. You may also need to recognize that each of you has changed over the years. None of us stays the same. Our wants, needs, passions, annoyances, etc. change as we mature and grow as people. People can usually accommodate this change as long as they admit it has happened.

2. Validate Each Other’s Feelings

There are two words that are very powerful in communication, “Yes, and…” Effective communication is not about one person being right and the other wrong. Often, both people are right and allowed to feel their feelings. Try not to attack the other person or get them to compromise on issues. Instead, focus on simply being heard and hearing the other person.

3. Be Ready to Change

If you want to improve your communication as a means to get the other person to change their ways, you are really thinking about this communication thing all wrong! Good communication is not about winning an argument. This is not a debate class. Your goal is to better share your thoughts, feelings, ideas, hopes and struggles with each other. Don’t be so focused on getting the other person to change and focus more on how your own behavior could change.

4. Breathe

Managing your emotions is one of the most important skills when it comes to interpersonal interaction. How often are you ready to blow when you and your spouse or partner are speaking to each other? How does the communication breakdown once you or your partner have become emotional?

When communicating with your partner, or anyone, should you feel your emotions rise, stop, take a slow, deep breath, and let it out. Taking this moment is important and will help you not to say something you’ll regret or that will escalate the situation.

None of us are perfect. All we can do is try to be the best versions of ourselves we can be for ourselves and our loved ones. By following these communication tips you will be able to strengthen your relationships.

Filed Under: Couples/Marriage

Helping Kids Cope with Divorce

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Divorce isn’t easy for anyone, but children can take it particularly hard. Many children don’t understand what is happening and many more feel the divorce is somehow their fault. 

 

Here’s how you can help your child cope:

Communicate Openly

The divorce should be explained in simple and straightforward terms. If at all possible, both parents should be part of the conversation. Your language should be tailored to the age of your children as well. So for instance, when speaking with very small children you might say something like, “Mommy and Daddy yell at each other a lot and everyone is feeling unhappy. So we have decided to live in different houses. But we love you very much and we will both take care of you still.”

Keep Things Predictable

Children do best when their environments are familiar and predictable. Do your best to provide the structure and routine your children have become used to.

Explain How Things Will Work

Many children will panic at the news, they will not understand how both Mommy and Daddy will both remain in their lives. So clearly explain how things will work going forward. “You will spend weekends with Daddy, and the rest of the time you will be here with Mommy.” You may also want to work on creating a calendar together so your child has something to refer to.

Never Speak Badly About Your Ex

Your ex may have caused you a lot of emotional pain in your relationship, but to your child, that ex is their mommy or daddy. Never speak unkindly about your child’s other parent.

Encourage Your Children to Speak Honestly About Their Emotions

Your child will sense that YOU are dealing with a lot of emotions, and, wanting to protect you, he or she will keep their emotions to themselves. It’s important that you encourage your children to talk to you candidly about how they are feeling. Let them know they can come to you at any time and talk to you whether they are scared, sad, or angry.

Seek Guidance

Everyone’s situation is different – and all children are different. Some may take the news better than others. You may find that your child is suffering more than you originally expected. If this happens, it may be a good idea to seek help from a trained family therapist, who can give all of you helpful coping tools.

 

If you would like to explore treatment options for your child, please get in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

 

SOURCES:

Filed Under: Children, Parenting, Separation/Divorce